Linda Simpson's family looks back on learning and laughing at United Helpers

Sheran Simpson, Linda Simpson, and Bob Simpson.

Linda G. Simpson liked to dance and socialize. She was the kind of woman who lit up a room with her bubbly, bright personality, and she left an impression on the many people who interacted with her. 

Linda, who lived at various United Helpers facilities starting in 1995, passed away on Aug. 5, 2014, at the age of 73.

Sheran Simpson, Linda’s sister-in-law who lives in Ohio, said Linda never ceased to surprise.

Born with a gene-mutation that caused a number of health problems, Linda was considered non-verbal as she grew up. When she moved to facilities run by United Helpers, staff spent lots of time getting to know Linda’s unique way of communicating her needs without using words.

Before Sheran first met Linda, in 1995, she wasn’t sure what to expect. 

“I didn’t know how she could understand who we were,” Sheran said. “I was trying to figure out how she could know that we were family.”

Sheran decided to make a photo album of Linda and her family members starting from when they were children and moving on to the present. She sent the photo album to staff members at United Helpers in advance of their first visit and asked that Linda be talked through the album several times a week.

When Sheran and her husband Bob – Linda’s brother – met Linda at the Centennial Manor Individualized Residential Alternative home where she lived at the time, she asked for the photo album.

Sheran said what happened next shocked everyone.

“I started turning the pages and Linda would look at us and then look at the picture album. What was fascinating is when I had turned four or five pages into the album she took her finger and pointed to a picture of Bob’s and Linda’s Mother and she said ‘Mom.’ I turned a couple of more pages and then she pointed and said ‘Dad.’ I looked down and she was pointing to a photo of their Dad. Then she looked at another photo and then looked up at Bob and then back to the picture. Then she pointed and said ‘Bob.’ That was the first time she had ever spoken, and she was 54 years old.” 

“That day was like a miracle in her life,” Sheran said. By the time of her death, Linda had a vocabulary of close to 30 words.

That set the tone for the relationship Sheran had with Linda. At every turn Sheran learned something new.

While the staff at United Helpers already knew Linda loved getting her nails painted, no one had any idea that Linda might be interested in lipstick too. But, when Sheran – on a whim – purchased a tube of lipstick for Linda, the result was unexpected.

The United Helpers staff called Bob and Sheran and said when Linda opened up the lipstick she got this big grin on her face.

“Then she went over to her helper and she handed her the lipstick and she pointed to the lipstick and then to her lips,” Sheran said. “They had never used lipstick on her. They were all shocked to realize that she knew what lipstick was and what you did with it and where it went.”

From 1995 to 2002 Bob and Sheran lived in California. Every other year they would take a five hour airplane flight to Syracuse, New York, rent a car and then drive to Ogdensburg. They would spend a week at a motel and spent their days visiting Linda. In 2002 they moved to Southwest Ohio.

   

Due to injuries sustained in a car accident, as Sheran aged, she was no longer able to make long flights or car trips. This is when the United Helper’s staff came up with an idea. They would drive Linda part way and Bob and Sheran would drive part way. This enabled them to meet in northern Ohio for Bob and Linda’s birthdays. Linda was born in April and Bob in May. So the first weekend in May, Bob, Linda, the staff and Sheran would celebrate their birthdays together. 

 

Bob and Linda celebrating their birthdays.

This is how Bob and Sheran learned that United Helpers really cares about the entire family unit of the residents they provide care for.

“We had so much fun with her. Just because somebody is mentally challenged doesn’t mean they can’t be oodles of fun or that they can’t enjoy life. That’s what I learned from Linda. She knew how to have a joy filled life,” Sheran said.

Licensed Practical Nurse Joanne Lynch, who worked at several of the facilities where Linda lived over the years, including at the United Helpers’ Intermediate Care Facility in Heuvelton where Linda lived last, agreed with Sheran.

“She was a social bug,” Joanne said. “She came out of her shell when she moved to the United Helpers facilities.”

Over the years, Joanne was one of the staff members who became closest to the Simpson’s.

“We became very close with many of the staff members,” Sheran said. “They treated Linda and the other residents as though they were family. Every one of them treated the two of us the same way.”

Sheran said, “One of the most significant things to us was when they had Linda go to the Mosaic prom. The dress Linda wore was beautiful and the photos staff sent were gorgeous. The pictures really mean a lot to our family”. Joanne said Linda’s love of dance wasn’t confined to the prom. “She was dancing at the home the day she went to the hospital. She certainly was a joy, a bubble.”

Sheran said, “As far as we are concerned, United Helpers is about love and family. We feel Linda was blessed to be able to live in United Helpers facilities. And Bob and I were blessed to be able to enjoy the fun times together with Linda, the residents she lived with, and the United Helpers staff.”

  

“What I learned from this experience with our precious Linda,” Sheran added, “is that even if you live far away, a family can still find ways to keep connected with loved ones who are physically or mentally challenged. We found one simple way to do this. Each holiday, (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, St Patrick’s Day, Easter, and 4th of July) we would go to various stores and find small, inexpensive gifts that Linda and the other four residents at her facility might enjoy. We wrapped them separately in small holiday plastic bags with festive ribbons. We also included a bag of chocolate kisses for each person, two boxes of thank you candy for the staff, and holiday table cloths and plates for each specific holiday because everyone likes a party! When the boxes arrived the staff told us all of the residents would be so excited. They knew there would be goodies inside for each of them to enjoy. So, this is a very small way that a family who lives far away can keep connected with a relative who is physically or mentally challenged.”

Sheran said since Linda’s death she’s been surprised that grief can roll over her even though she was not able to see Linda very often. She found the places that brought Linda’s memory to her the most were stores where she purchased holiday gifts for Linda and her friends. She would walk down an aisle and see something Linda would really like and remember that she was gone now. When it happens, Sheran said she pictures Linda home, in Paradise, talking with her parents.

“I know Linda is all-right now,” Sheran said, “and it gives me peace.”